TheCrazySquirrel

I scheduled a lot of posts to post while I am in Romania. But really I’m far away having more fun than you are in your office cubicle. I just thought I would let you know! Of course I scheduled this one to post as I was coming back, so don’t try to break into my house and steal everything because I’ll be home in a few minutes!!

Dear insurance people and my boss, THIS POST IS BEING POSTED ALMOST 1 YEAR AFTER THE FACT. I have sense learned my lesson and would never do anything like this again. :)

Five trips from Church to pick up Burmese - 91 miles
Ten times through the toll both on the way with no toll tag - $15.00
Learning that a 7 passenger Chevy Suburban can actually fit up to 19 Burmese people and 1 driver -PRICELESS!

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I helped pick up people for the Burmese church that meets in the afternoon here at my church. There are a bunch of Burmese (Myanmar) refugee’s that are coming to Houston. A lot of them (that go to this church) don’t have cars. That means we have a slight problem of finding a way to get 120+ people here by 3pm on Sunday.

Today there was a bit of a hitch in the system. It seems someone took both of the vans and didn’t tell us. So we ended up with a different van and a suburban. I got the suburban and was given an address to an apartment complex. I was expecting to go to this place once at 2pm, maybe twice because I didn’t have a 15 passenger van, and then go to the second address I was given by 2:30. Instead I drove up and there were 40-50 people waiting outside to come to church. I had a 7 passenger suburban…not including myself. There was the passenger seat, 3 person middle seat, and the 3 person back seat. Plus there was the storage area behind that.

Now you might not know this, but if you try real hard you can fit more than 7 people in that suburban. You can fit 20 (including the driver)…at least…if you use the storage part in the back and have kids sit on top of everyone else. If you are naturally smaller that helps as well. No one spoke English, so as I was telling them “That is enough I will come back.” and “ok no more people I will come back to get you.” they all just kept pilling in the suburban. No one could understand me, I was running short on time, so I just went. When I got to the church I started counting 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-….how many people… 12-13-14…can fit inside a …15-16-17…suburban…holy monkey there are more people in there - 18-19 (and 20 including myself).

WOW. 20 people in one suburban. Do you think that goes against any insurance policy or diving laws? I rehearsed what I would say to the cop that pulled me over: “Listen if you can get them to get out I would appreciate it. I just pulled up to a apartment and they all got in as I was saying to stop and no one understands English and I am a minister and I have to be back at the church so I just came anyway.”

So how many people can you fit into a suburban? I challenge you to fit more and take a picture and post it!!

I can’t spell stupid. Or better said, I can’t type it correctly. Now matter how hard I try every time I type the word I type “stuipd.” s-t-u-i-p-d. Not stupid like it should be (not the i location). I have typed that word a lot lately between my post about stuipd signs (see I did it again) and my new poll. And I can’t spell it correctly. I have had to change ever single instance of that word. I just thought I would let you know.

P.S.
Steve - you can save your comments like “I spell stupid C-L-I-F-F” to yourself.

I think I have tried to hard the past few years to…how would you put it…”not be so crazy” or “grow up” or whatever you want to call it. And the truth is I don’t really like being…calm. I like being crazy. I like having lots of fun, being loud (at least when it is semi-appropriate), doing crazy things, etc. I don’t like being quite-er, calm-er, less crazy-y.

So I think I have decided to go back to crazy. After reading much of the past couple months of the MercyMe blog (or SLOG as they call it), watching the cover band vids, the rangers vids, etc., I was reminded of a funner Cliff time. Bart reminds me somewhat of my friend Matt Sprink. Sprink can do the worm, but that is neither here nor there. Thinking about Matt I remember when I used to be much more crazy. I would do things like wear steel toe boots and go in and out of the metal dectector at the airport while a friend videoed me being wanded over and over. Or being a lot more funny that I tend to be now.

For a few years I have tried to “tone it down” because I thought I wanted to be more “toned” and all I really need to do is work out!! Ha ha ha ha. Ok that was cheesy, but you get my point. Really what I wanted to address was my need to be liked, the center of attention, the life of the party, etc. And I think I’ve done a decent job at getting better over the past say…9 years. That being said, I’m to boring now.

I tell you all of this so you can prepare yourself. Some of my new friends (being the ones here in Houston) don’t know I’m crazy. While they think I’m a bit silly and I talk to much at homegroup, I’ve never really been the outgoing, funny, somewhat crazy person I used to be. So prepare youself, and pray for Wife. She needs it!

I hate stupid church signs. In fact, I used one as an illustration one time preaching. I was reminded of my utter disdain for how stupid they can be after reading a post by Bart (as in from MercyMe). I hate stupid church signs. Why do churches do the things they do???

I mean - “You think it’s hot and smokey here….!!!” or “Gas to expensive? Come in here for a fill up” just make me upset. Just ask Wife.There used to be a sign in Waco on New Road, near Sanger Ave. that always made me angry. One time they made fun of the pastor’s sermon and then the next week had a message explaining the previous message that said “The Pastor approved last weeks message.” Why be that stupid to begin with?

All stupid signs like that do is turn people off. That and make me upset and give me something to blog about. So churches…please stop saying stupid things. Equating your church service to a gas tank fill up is not only a bad example of church, but theologically incorrect. If your church is really like that then I don’t want to go there. And writing things like ‘GOD WROTE THE KING JAMES VERSION. BUSINE$$ MEN WROTE THE OTHER VERSIONS’ just shows that you are very closed/narrow minded, do not study and understand the bible or what a “translation” is (which includes KJV), and all you do is turn many people away.

Dave and Jess Ray have a new CD out. The CD is very good. The lyrics are engaging, the music is wonderful, all around the CD will blow you away. Dave is on the music staff here at my church. He’s the one who brought you The Doorposts CD (here). You need to go buy the CD.

Buy it on or visit the website DaveandJessRay.com

My favorite songs are, in no particular order:

Be Glorious
One
Undone
Face of God
Shout it Out
These Precious Minutes
Thunder Roll
One in a Million
Light of the World
Empty
Restore Me

Here is the video that accompanies the song Face of God.